allison76: My Story (a day early!) (loss & children ment. WARNING LONG!!!)

To begin, DH and I married on October 8, 1994, and knew we wanted to try to have children soon. I went off of the pill in December 1994 and got pg in February of 1995. After a wonderfully uneventful pg, I delivered DD (Ellie) naturally, on November 9, 1995 (five days late mind you! LOL!).

Around the time Ellie was 18 mos. old, we thought we’d TTC again. We were so naive, thinking things would go as smoothly as they did the first time. Sure, the conceiving part went smoothly. Went off the pill in the summer of 1997 and was thrilled when I found out in October of 1997 that I was pg. That pregnancy went smooth as well until one day, while at work, I wasn’t feeling the baby move a whole lot. I went home that evening, told DH and we BOTH decided that we would try various methods of getting the baby to move that night, and call the OB in the morning if I still hadn’t felt movement. After all, how could anything have been wrong, just a few weeks ago we had an ultrasound that indicated we were having a healthy baby girl, (we named Camille), everything measured fine and looked good! Well, despite our various efforts to get Camille to move for us, by morning I still wasn’t feeling movement. As soon as my OB’s office opened at 9 a.m. I called. They told me to come in immediately, they would get me right in and try not to panic, things were probably fine. I called DH at work, told him I was going in and that I wanted to go alone. I got to my OB’s office, they immediately took me back to a room and put a doppler on my belly. The nurse tried to find Camille’s heartbeat for five minutes, with no success. I think at that point I was in denial. Two weeks ago, Camille was fine. Maybe she was just “hiding” or the nurse jus didn’t go low enough with the doppler. They did an ultrasound on me immediately and that is a moment that will be etched in my memory for the rest of my life. To this day, that is the worst moment I have ever had to endure. The u/s confirmed my worst fear, my little girl was gone. My OB could give me no answers or reasons, just told me I could be induced, if I chose, or to let nature takes it course. I chose to be induced that evening. On March 5, 1998, I delivered Camille at 3:58 a.m. She was 1 pound 6 ounces and 12 inches long. I was 24 weeks gestation. I was in love with her. I am still dealing with loosing this precious little girl. After autopsy and various test results came back, the only possible cause of Camille’s death was a severely spiraled umbilical cord. I was told the odds of this happening again, were slim to none and that it was a freak thing.

Since the loss of Camille, DH and I had been TTC for months, finally in March of 1999 (a year after loosing Camille), we found out I was pg. I was so nervous and worried. But as nervous as I was, I thought there would be no way I’d loose this child. After all, hadn’t I paid my dues? And, on top of that, I was doing everything right...I had been on prenatal vitamins since before conception, I had been drinking decaf coffee (which was darn hard to do!) and was just plain babying myself. I was so excited when I felt those first flutters of movement! I had started feeling them early (about 12 wks!) and was really thinking positive now. And, why shouldn’t I be thinking positive? I had made it past the 12wk. mark and the Dr. did say loosing Camille was a fluke. So come early December, I was going to have a baby and just in time for Christmas too!

Well let’s see, should I just hit the rewind button? One day I had gone shopping with my parents and DD. While eating lunch I realized that I hadn’t been feeling those little flutters. I instantly dismissed any negative thoughts. I mean, come on, these were little flutters. These are movements are easily missed or mistaken for gas, etc. Needless to say, once I arrived home and told DH, he wasn’t taking any chances, so off to the ER we went. This would be the second worst day of my life, to date. To repeat what I said above, I went thru the same sequence of events, from doppler, to u/s, to horrible devastating news. I was 16 wks. gestation, but my baby measured at 12 wks. Because my uterus had grown to the size of 16 wks. gestation, the risk for hemorrhaging with a D&C was too great. Therefore, I had to labor and deliver this baby too. Baby Joris was born on June 20, 1999 at 12:00 noon. Because our baby only developed to 12 wks, they were unable to determine the sex of the baby. We chose to have Baby Joris buried with his sister, Camille. After various tests, we were given no cause as to why we lost our baby.

The next two years were rough to say the least. Loosing the two children and now suffering SIF on top of that, DH and I were at our limit. FINALLY, my OB gave us a referral to an RE. My RE was great! He had a wonderful caring way about him, yet a good sense of humor and, best of all, this guy was going to get me pg!! After two failed clomid/bd cycles, RE suggested an IUI. This made perfect sense for us, being that this was unexplained SIF, with no male factor. So we did the 5 days of clomid, u/s, trigger shot and on May 19, 2001, at 9 a.m. my RE performed my first (and only) IUI.

Well, like all you other IF & SIF sufferers out there, On day 27 of my cycle (yes, the day BEFORE I expected to see AF) I went out and bought one of those pg tests you can take “before the first day of your missed period”. To my absolute shock and disbelief, the test was positive! Yes I saw two, count them two, not one, pink lines!!! OMG!!! It has been so long since I had seen two lines of these damn sticks I could hardly believe it! I mean, I was about to invest money in “First Response” stock! Then I try to talk myself out of being pg. It’s probably the HCG shot registering on the test and I’m not really pg. I HAD to have a blood test THAT DAY! This was not waiting til Monday! So, I call my old OB’s office and beg them to draw blood for a pg test and beta count. They complied and I received a call later that afternoon confirming the pregnancy. HURRAY!

To try and shorten this already very long story, like most all of you, my RE confirmed a viable pg via u/s and referred me to a new high risk OB. Now. . . I thought I loved my RE (and I do), but my OB can not be topped, this man was sent from God! He is a wonderful, caring man and extremely gifted doctor. This man ordered a battery of blood tests on me (that nobody else did throughout my ordeal) that confirmed that I am at slight risk for clotting disorders. Nothing major. I didn’t need heparin, just to stay on the baby aspirin that my RE already had me on. Now, I know most of us like our OB’s, but I want everyone to know how much I love and care for Dr. Laurence Stempel of Dublin, Ohio. With this man’s expertise and caring, I delivered (after only 5-1/2 hrs of labor) my miracle son, Rene William Joris, on Monday, February 4, 2002, at 5:38 p.m. “RW” was a perfect gentlemen, arriving right on his due date. He weighed 7 pounds 14 oz. and was 20 inches long.

RW has filled a void in my life that I wasn’t sure would ever be filled. DH and I are truly blessed to have two healthy children to love and care for. No one said it would be easy to care for these little ones, I mean it‘s not like they come with manuals or instruction sheets. And we all know how rough sleepless nights, teething babies and sick children can be. But, we also know it’s the most rewarding job we’ll ever have. What could be more rewarding than to have your little one smile at you and gaze into your eyes with love? There isn’t a day that goes by, when I don’t look at RW and thank God that I have been blessed with him.

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