Jann in TX: My Story (a day late)....long, losses , other child/SIF ment...Ok here it goes--I hope I make it through typing this... I've cried through most of the other stories. I met DH in highschool--no attraction there, in fact I made fun of his extremely thin geeky appearance! We were friends though. He graduated in 1982 and I graduated in 1983. We were officially engaged in December 1983 and married in January of 1985. There is a story in there--but the fact remains we were BABIES and too young (I was 19 and DH 20) to get married--but we did! Since we were dirt poor and both in college, I went on the pill. I was sick every morning for a year before DH tossed them! We still used a concious birth control system... My mother died of breast cancer in April of 1987 (she was 43 years old), I graduated from college 3 weeks later. I taught school for the next 2 years. DH graduated (finally after changing majors a few times) in 1989. We took a weekend trip to Dallas to celebrate and found out we were pregnant the day he accepted his first "real" job. His job had great benefits and I wouldn't have to work--but it was 1500 miles from our nearest relative! With this surprise pregnancy we blissfully moved to Chicago. At 13 weeks (2 weeks after we moved) I had my first OB appointment, All was well except I was violently ill. A routine us at 17 weeks found that our baby had died. I wasn't told at the time--my ob called 2 days later! We were with an HMO and could not schedule a D&C for 4 weeks! My body however still wanted to be pg and I kept being sick! I walked around for 4 weeks carring my dead baby and pg people were all over the place! I finally went into labor at 20.5 weeks (on Labor Day!) and delivered in the emergency room on a HARD bed with incredible back labor and no assisitance! I had to have the D&C anyways because I had an infection--so bad they couldn't put me under all the way OUCH! No explanation was given, and when the OB said at the folowup--you can begin thinking about when you want to be pg again--I do not think he really ment to get pg right away--but we did. 6 weeks after my D&C I was back at the office with a positive pg test. DD #1 was born at 40 weeks (August 1990) with a totally carefree pregnancy--less than 5 hours of natural labor and 20 minutes of hard labor/pushing. Everything was well until the nurses tried to sit me up--I began to hemmorage so bad I almost died. I was rushed to surgery and again was not able to be put out--still do not know why--and DH said I screamed for 3 hours straight afterwards! The next morning I held my dd and all was well--except I couldn't talk for a few weeks! When I becam pg agin in 1992, I had another bad round of m/s. Tests came back positive for Lupus, and "sticky blood". I now know too well about high APA levels. At 30 weeks the size of my uterus had not changed since 28 weeks. At 30 weeks I began almost daily level 2 u/s at the hospital. I had to drive over an hour each way. At 31 weeks I began regular contractions--but stayed dialated to a 3. At 34 weeks I was exhausted by the continual contractions and the baby's fluid level was still low--reason I was being monitored. We decided to induce and DD#2 was born (Dec 1990) weighing 6.5 lbs! Her lungs were not quite mature--but we were still able to go home the next day. At 8 weeks she nearly died from RSV and spent 3 weeks in 3 different hospitals. I gave her breathing treatments every 4 hours around the clock for the first three years of her life--and luckily the frequency has gone down! Here is where my rollercoaster with SIF begins. In Feb of 1995 I have an early miscarriage. Blood tests again show a very high APA level and other immune issues--OB only tells me that I may never carry to term again. DH takes a job in Texas and we are finally closer to family. My MIL dies of cancer a few months later. I begin experiencing strange health problems and I am put on all sorts of medication--another long story --after 2 years of this I decide to take control of my own body/health and I go off the medication and WOW I begin to feel better! DH and I still wanted another child (I think I did more than DH. We tried for a while--and nothing! DH refused any kind of OB assistance. We just had carefree sex for 5 years--with me secretly crying every time AF showed up. What a surprise when I found out I was pg in fall of 2000! When I began to get very sick terrible memories came back and I remembered my risks. We told the family on Christmas Day--I was 10 weeks and couldn't hide the m/s. I began to spot the next day. OB gave me a u/s in the office and we saw a beautiful strong heartbeat! The spotting only go worse and OB let me come in every day for a u/s. At 14 weeks (January 2001) the u/s showed the baby happily sucking a finger and wiggling around. A few hours later I was holding our little boy--a bloodclot had caused the placenta to shatter. I had to have a D&C that night but my regular OB was not on call. The other OB was rude and did a quick 5 minute D&C--I should have known better! This is when I found inciid. My OB was great and immediatley sent me to a wonderful RE. I told him that my first AF had come but was only 2 days long. He immediately scheduled a HSG. By our follup visit AF had come again-- 1 day this time! The results of the HSG arrived at the office just before I left--RE took a look and asked if I knew what I was doing in April. I had Ashermans due to retained placenta--again I knew the D&C had been bad! I had a lap and a hysteroscopy. The Ashermans had completely consumed my uterus and tubes. RE also found that I had severe endo that completely covered the back side of my uterus! I never had any symptoms of endo! After my surgery the RE gave us 3 months to get pg--after that my chances of getting and staying pg would be less than 10%. My APA levels were very high with the last pg and RE put me BA. We took a family trip to the beach in May of 2001. I had a postive pg test in June! I was extremely scared this time and so violently ill that I had to go on a medication for chemo patients so I could stay hydrated. The pregnancy progressed nicely--but at 20 weeks I began to have terrible back pains and trouble walking. By Christmas 2001 I was in a wheelchair. Too much progesterone had caused my pelvis to separate. Everything I read about this condition said that a c-section was the way to go--my OB did not agree--he thought my complaints were do to my age (36) --his wife complained a lot (she was same age and due 4 weeks before me). I did get him to agree to induce at 38 weeks. The induction did not take long--but little Emily played ping-pong with my pelvis, had the cord wrapped around her neck and body 2 times AND had shoulder displacia AND a prolapsed cord!!! (spelling?). In other words her head presented, but her shoulders got stuck. The cord was around her neck strangling her and the cord circlulation was cut off by her shoulders--which were stuck! This was another "natural" birth for me so OUCH! I ripped all the way down! Emily was born at 3:00pm January 28, 2002. Her first apgar was a 1. She looked so terrible--all bruised. Her severe bruising caused terrible jaundice and she had photo therapy for 3 weeks. She has since turned into a beautiful healthy baby! She turned 7 months old yesterday. She is very active and happy. She loves to crawl and play with wooden spoons and any kind of paper. Her older sisters (12 years and 9 years) adore her. Being pregnant for me has not been a blissful experience. It has been one of heartache, loss, and longing. I am so blessed by my 3 girls and yet secretly cry when someone asks "are you going to try for a boy?" If I'm not careful I respond "We had a little boy named Timothy Laurence--but we did not get to keep him". You ladies have been so supportive the past 2 years. Thank you! Jann |